Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Clark: Hey If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

I've gotten a Christmas bonus every year but this one. You don't want to give bonuses, fine. But when people count on them as their salary, well what you did just plain... Where do you think you're going? Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.

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Clark W. Griswold

Get exclusive offers by signing up to our mailing list. Christmas is about resolving differences, and seeing through the petty problems of family life. I can't believe you're standing here in my living room, Eddie. Never thought the day would come. You set standards that no family activity can live up to. Needs to review the security of your connection before proceeding.

Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath. Don't go puttin' none of that stuff on my sled, Clark. You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so. So over at the VA they had to replace it with plastic. It ain't as strong so I don't know if I should go sailin down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.

Weihnachtsurlaub, Merry Christmas SHITTER was FULL, Clark Griswold, lasergraviert, Holzlöffel, Strumpftopf, lampoons,

We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. The most enjoying traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin.

Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer. Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... The clean, cool chill of the holiday air...

Vintage Griswold Weihnachtstasse | Retro Weihnachtstasse | Lustiges Weihnachtsgeschenk für Freunde Sie Sie Geschenkideen

An asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... Instead I got enrolled in a jelly club. 17 years with the company.

clark griswold last minute gift ideas

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